What Are Presuppositions?

Presuppositions are the sneaky little assumptions or beliefs that we carry around—often without even realizing it—that influence how we see the world and engage with others, including our kids. They act as mental shortcuts, shaping how we interpret our child’s behavior and respond to them. Sometimes these beliefs are helpful, but other times they can trip us up if we’re not paying attention.

For example, let’s say you believe, “My child wants to succeed.” When they face challenges or setbacks, instead of getting frustrated, you’ll naturally lean into curiosity and support, seeing those bumps as part of the process—not signs that they’re lacking motivation. These beliefs (whether we know we have them or not) are like invisible strings pulling the tone and direction of our conversations. And, let’s be honest, they can either lift our child up or accidentally weigh them down.

Becoming Aware of the Presuppositions We Currently Hold

If we don’t slow down and check what assumptions we’re working with, we might unintentionally send the wrong message. Some beliefs build confidence, while others can create doubt or pressure. Here are a few examples of how tricky those assumptions can be:

• “My child will never be a leader on the team.”

This thought quietly whispers to us to limit our child’s opportunities, which might make them miss their chance to step up when the time comes.

• “If my child isn’t winning, they aren’t improving.”

Talk about a confidence crusher! This belief puts the spotlight on outcomes and makes it harder for our kids to celebrate progress.

• “My child just doesn’t have the mental toughness for sports.”

When we buy into this, we might accidentally focus on what’s lacking, instead of recognizing the strengths they’re developing along the way.

So, how do we get better? Awareness is the first step. Take a moment to reflect on your assumptions. Are they lifting your child up or holding them back? The good news is that once you spot them, you can start shifting toward beliefs that create room for growth, effort, and joy.

The Power of Purposely Presupposing Ideas to Boost Your Child’s Confidence

Once you’ve taken stock of those sneaky beliefs, the fun part begins: choosing new, empowering presuppositions that change the game for your child. These intentional shifts in thinking create a positive environment where confidence can thrive.

Here are a few to start practicing:

• “My child’s confidence grows through effort and progress, not just outcomes.”

This one helps you celebrate the small wins—those quiet but important moments that build genuine self-belief over time.

• “Every setback is an opportunity for my child to learn and grow.”

With this belief, challenges become part of the adventure. You’re modeling resilience and helping your child see that failure isn’t the end—it’s just the beginning of the next step.

• “The way I speak to my child shapes how they speak to themselves.”

Think about this one every time you talk to your child. Your words today become their inner voice tomorrow. When you focus on strengths and possibilities, that voice becomes a source of confidence.

• “Confidence is a skill that can be developed.”

This presupposition encourages patience—both for you and your child. Confidence isn’t an instant reward; it’s built over time through practice, experience, and plenty of trial and error.

By adopting these new beliefs, you’ll create an environment where your child feels safe to grow, learn, and take risks. And that’s where real confidence comes from—knowing they can navigate challenges, no matter what the scoreboard says.

Presuppositions for Enhancing Communication with Student-Athletes (Plus Reflection Questions)

Let’s dive into a few more presuppositions, each with some light-hearted, reflective questions to help you keep things in perspective during those tricky moments.

The Meaning of Communication is the Response You Get

This presupposition reminds you that how your message is received matters. If your child seems withdrawn or frustrated, it’s a signal to tweak your approach instead of doubling down.

Reflection Questions:

• How is my child reacting to what I just said or how I said it?
• Am I noticing their body language and emotions, not just their words?
• What could I adjust in my tone or message to be clearer or more supportive?
• Could their response be telling me something I missed?