One of the highlights of February was competing in my first ever pickleball tournament!

I picked up my first pickleball paddle just before Thanksgiving, and it’s safe to say that I am now HOOKED.

I used to think pickleball was just some silly game played by a few of my retired D1 and pro teammates… But now I understand the obsession :-)

Discovering and integrating this sport into my life has positively impacted me in many ways…

• One. Pickleball is a particularly social sport. Two to three times per week I now get to play, laugh, and connect with other energetic, hilarious humans who share this interest. And once the weather warm ups, I look forward to transitioning outdoors and playing in the fresh air and sun!
• Two. Especially now that I’ve started playing against better competition (3.5 / 4.0+ range), pickleball has become a great workout for both my body and my mind (as it’s a highly strategic sport).
• Three. Playing pickleball unexpectedly (and marvelously!) got me back in touch with my competitive side – a core part of me that had been dormant for the past few years.

After retiring from professional soccer in early 2020, my body needed me to take a break from running, lifting and training.

So I did yoga. I went for walks/hikes. And I ressssstttteeeed. It was absolutely divine!

Having played highly competitive sports, season after season, from 4 years old to 29… I didn’t know life without working out and back to back, intense training sessions.

So I genuinely relished those years of gentle movement and rest… And it felt gooooood to embrace my inner rebel and not workout, sometimes for extended periods of time!

Many of my retired teammates have shared about their own challenges with learning how to sustainably and enjoyably work out, in the absence of a structured team environment or an upcoming season/game.

To solve this problem for myself, I tried a lot of different things over the years, and I finally figured out a sustainable, energizing, weekly movement routine that works great for me!

Over time, I look forward to enhancing the foundation I have built by layering in more longevity tools to keep my body and mind strong (for parents who are interested in this topic for themselves, here is a fantastic book called Outlive: The Science & Art of Longevity by Dr. Peter Attia).

And now… Thanks to pickleball… I’ve gotten to once again experience myself as a competitive, powerful, creative athlete.

What a gift that I continue to be grateful for!

Here are two of my takeaways that have emerged as a result of reconnecting with my inner competitor…

1 >>> I am reminded of how much fun I have and how much better I play when, instead of putting any pressure on myself, I play because it’s one of my greatest joys… Because I feel so alive while doing it, while becoming more masterful, while playing in flow state… and letting all of my problems and worries dissolve as I step onto the court. This is how I used to play my best games in club soccer, at Princeton and as a pro!

2 >>> In the lead up to the tournament, I was also reminded of how sneaky the mind can be.

The day of the competition I started noticing nervousness in my body and this led me to get curious about my thoughts.

“What thoughts am I thinking that could be creating this nervousness and anxiety that I am feeling?”

As I got curious, here were some of the thoughts that I was able to “catch” and get aware of:

• “I don’t want to let my teammate down.” (I was playing mixed doubles in the tournament.)
• “I don’t want to freeze up on the court when everyone is watching.”
• “I don’t want to mess up my serves over and over again… What if I just can’t get one in and everyone will be watching me?”
• “What if my shoulder tightens up or starts to feel painful and I can’t keep playing?”

These were just some of the thoughts bouncing around my brain.

And as I’m sure you’d agree… It’s no wonder I was feeling nervous!

My brain was doing its job (thinking thoughts), but the thoughts were highly un-resourceful and they certainly were NOT going to help me get into the most powerful physical, mental and emotional state to play.

The thoughts were focused on what I didn’t want to happen and all of the unwanted “what-ifs”.

So, I had to do my job and take responsibility for my thinking and choose the thoughts that would help me perform.

So I did some self coaching & walked myself through a few of the simple, yet powerful tools that I frequently use with my teenage athletes:

1. I asked myself, “What exactly do you want to happen?” I reminded myself to focus exclusively on that. When a thought comes up that is focused away from what I want to happen, then non-judgmentally accept it (because the brain is just doing it’s job, thinking), but I DO NOT have to believe that thought. I get to choose which thoughts are true and helpful, which ones I want to focus on, and which ones I will immediately send to the “trash” file.
2. “There’s so much that you can control, Jen. What are those things?” I reminded myself that within the many things that I cannot control (such as the outcome of the game, the quality of the competition, etc.) there was a lot that I could control and optimize for. So I focused on preparing my body (through mobility, foam rolling, hydration, nutrition, packing quality fuel/snacks, getting a big sleep the night before, etc.) and my mind (through focus, visualization, breath, meditation, reminding myself that no matter what happens I love and accept myself and this is just one moment in my life that I will learn from regardless of the outcome, etc.).
3. “The brave, courageous people are the ones who feel the fear and choose to do the thing anyway.” I reminded myself that I have yet to meet a human being who hasn’t felt fear, worried, anxious or nervous… So what I was feeling was quite common and normal! I also reminded myself that I love choosing and embodying the identity of a brave, courageous woman. Yes, doing new/scary things opens me up to the potential for “failure”, but it also opens me up to faster growth and greater possibilities in my future!
4. “If this anxiousness and worry were here for a good reason… If it were here in my body to help me in some positive way, what could that be?” I like to ask myself this question because I personally believe that our emotions show up for very good reasons (I don’t believe they’re random)… Often times, when I feel fear, that emotion is there because it’s trying to “protect” me from something, perhaps from an unknown future or from a real and legitimate threat. Sometimes, anxiety arises in athletes before a tryout because the athlete isn’t yet competent in certain skills… so that emotion is trying to communicate something very important to the athlete… that the athlete needs to spend more time practicing before the tryout in order to maximize their chances of success. In this situation, you could say that there is a lot of wisdom in the anxiety that is showing up! Prior to my pickleball tournament… when I did this inner reflection… I realized that the nervousness was likely showing up because I wanted to be proud of my performance, and I wanted to be an extraordinary teammate for my mixed doubles partner. What beautiful desires and intensions! This helped me be more compassionate with myself, for the very understandable emotions I was feeling. And this helped me be less at war with myself and more accepting of the very normal, human emotions that were ebbing and flowing inside me. Ultimately, this helped me step onto the pickleball court in a much more grounded, surrendered, powerful state.

I hope you enjoyed this story.

Warmly,

Jen