Luke Bunder

Why Parents Who Loosen Their Grip Gain More Influence Somewhere between middle school chaos and high school graduation, a powerful shift happens: Your role as a parent changes. Your teen doesn’t need another supervisor—they need a consultant. This isn’t just about “being nicer” or “letting go.” It’s a deep psychological need for healthy identity development. And when you honor it? You don’t lose your teen—you gain trust, influence, and a stronger relationship than ever before. Let’s break it down: why teens resist, why pushing harder backfires, what a consultant-parent actually does, and what challenges to expect [...]

Teenagers often wrestle with thoughts like: “I’m not good enough.” “Nobody likes me.” “I always mess up.” “I am so ugly.” “I’ll never be successful.” These aren’t just passing thoughts—they’re limiting beliefs that quietly shape your teen’s identity, confidence, and behavior. They act like tinted glasses, coloring how your child sees the world—and themselves. But here’s the challenge: If you argue against these beliefs by saying, “That’s not true!” or “Of course people like you!” — it often strengthens the belief instead of loosening it. Why Arguing Backfires When you push back [...]

If you’re a student-athlete who feels lost when things get hard—when you’re not starting, struggling with pressure, or asking “What’s the point?”—and you want to reconnect with motivation and drive… or if you’re a parent who wants to help your athlete stay grounded and inspired, this tool is your compass. What Is This Tool? Your “Why” is the deeper reason you play. It’s not about impressing coaches, getting trophies, or pleasing others. It’s what fuels your fire when everything else feels heavy. When your confidence is low, purpose gives it roots. Bill [...]

If you're a student-athlete who feels like you're falling behind, constantly comparing yourself to others, or afraid to make mistakes… or if you're a parent who wants to help your athlete embrace effort and enjoy progress, this mindset shift is essential. What Is This Tool? A growth mindset, as defined by psychologist Carol Dweck (and adapted beautifully by Bill Beswick in One Goal), is the belief that your abilities can grow with effort, learning, and persistence—not something you’re either born with or not. Contrast that with a fixed mindset, which sounds like: [...]

If you're a student-athlete who struggles with consistency and wants to build lasting confidence that doesn’t rise and fall with wins and losses… or a parent who wants to better understand how your athlete is really doing mentally and emotionally, this tool gives you the roadmap. What Is This Tool? The Confidence Profile is a powerful tool adapted from Bill Beswick’s Focused for Soccer. It’s designed to help athletes track the real building blocks of performance—mental, emotional, and motivational—not just stats or scores. This tool creates a personalized dashboard of self-belief, resilience, [...]

If you’re an athlete who keeps repeating the same mistakes even though you know what to fix, and you want to perform with more consistency, this tool will help you tune in and level up. And if you're a parent who wants to help your athlete grow faster without triggering stress or shutdown, this mindset shift is gold. What Is This Tool? Non-judgmental observation is exactly what it sounds like: watching what happens with clear, calm attention—without labeling it “good” or “bad.” In The Inner Game of Tennis, Timothy Gallwey describes a [...]

If you're a teenage athlete who gets stuck in your own head after a mistake and wants to play with more flow and confidence, then this tool will help you reset fast and stay in the game. And if you're a parent who wants to support your athlete’s growth without unintentionally adding pressure, this tool will give you the right mindset and language to use. What Is This Tool? When athletes struggle with confidence, it’s not usually because they’re untalented—it’s because they’re too judgmental of themselves. W. Timothy Gallwey, in The Inner [...]

If you're a teenage athlete who struggles with overthinking and wants to play with more calm and confidence, then this tool will help you unlock your best performance. And if you're a parent who wants to help your athlete play freely without adding pressure, this tool will help you know what to say — and not to. What Is This Tool? This game-changing concept comes from W. Timothy Gallwey’s book, The Inner Game of Tennis. Inside every athlete are two selves: Self 1 is the inner critic, the voice that says “Don’t [...]

Do you ever catch yourself imagining the worst possible outcomes before a big game, tryout, or performance? Maybe it’s a championship match, a skills showcase, or even a practice where you want to prove yourself—and your mind starts spiraling. You start asking questions like:   What if I mess up in front of everyone? What if my coach benches me? What if I embarrass myself?   Suddenly, you’re vividly picturing all the ways things could go wrong. This mental habit, often called the Worst-Case Scenario Game, feels like preparation, but in reality, it creates unnecessary anxiety and holds you back [...]